3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
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she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
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Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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