So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
