need another drink. this is the easiest way
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
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I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
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I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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