bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize