Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
