Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
