I have demons in me.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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