I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
