it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
