All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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