btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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