you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
