she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
