i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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