so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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