I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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