Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
