Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
