I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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