I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
