Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
