Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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