It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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