I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
