420 ftw
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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