just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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