She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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