Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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