my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
