Umm I'm too high to move.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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