Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
And the cops told us we were all naked.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
