I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
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he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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