its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
