Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
