Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
