just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
