I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
