I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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