Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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