all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
is it fun? or sober?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize