Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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