we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
