Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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