blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize