no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
