At least make sure they are 18
Why
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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