The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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