Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
