i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize