dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
