Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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