We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize