the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
