This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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