I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize