I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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