you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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