Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize